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Everything has changed, and then nothing has…

My house is back to the way as it was “before”, when I was the “me before him”. There’s a few adjustments to be made, and plates to be replaced, but I finally feel more relaxed.

Gone are the days when I’d come home and sob in the kitchen because I felt overwhelmed with the intense balancing act of responsibility after inducting another person into the mix. I could deal with my responsibilities at work and at home, but my shoulders were getting heavier when those responsibilities were doubled.

My shoulders feel so much lighter at last.

Obviously, the universe, discontent with things working out for once, decided to send me a gift in the form of two intruders on Saturday night. My first single Saturday night in 2.5 years and I got to face two hooded figures crowbarring their way into my house. Sod’s law.

The irony is that A actually had the better “stuff” and they could have made away with more technology than you’d be able to shake a stick at. But apparently it’s cars they want now…. go figure.

So with knitting needles in hand, and balls that I grew out of god knows where, I made it down the stairs and turned the lights on to face two dark shadows in my back doorway.

Luckily they bolted and my car has lived to see another day. I was shaking by the time the police arrived, but I’m oddly calm now. I think when life throws you so many lemons you just become the master bartender and expect the citrus to keep flying in your general direction.

The thing is, if A had still been here, I would have been treated like the helpless damsel. I couldn’t be “trusted” to do a lot of things on my own regardless of how many times I’d done them as the “me before him”. Nobody puts baby in the corner, and I am done being shelved.

I came into this lockdown feeling pretty lost- walking into the unknown, as it were. But after finding my inner knitting-needle-wielding-ninja, I know I’ll be okay.

I’m down to my last crochet sample to be submitted in the next two weeks so that is doing wonders for keeping my mind distracted. Designing has always been an amazing getaway.

I have a to-make list as long as my legs now and lord knows if I’ll ever have time to make everything I want to. It doesn’t seem to stop me buying ALL THE HAND DYED YARN though and I’ll definitely have to show you a photo soon because it’s legit ridic. Seriously.

I also spent way too much money on festive coffee, because tis the season, and what a weird one it’s going to be.

Hopefully lockdown doesn’t throw me anymore curve balls, but until then I have yarn and coffee. And what more does a girl need?