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I’m acutely aware that I’ve left my blog teeter for the past couple of months. Since the beginning of September it’s like a fire has been lit under my butt and I haven’t stopped. So here’s whats new…

I broke lockdown by going back into full time employment. Its weird but in a good way – its like I never had the break. In fact, its difficult because the entirety of mine and A’s relationship has been marred by my unstable work life. Now I’m back into it I’ve re-discovered my independence and I’m becoming the “Me Before You” I was 3 years ago.

My god, I missed her.

I am fearless, a little reckless and for the first time in a while, I’m feeling sexy as hell. Its a good feeling.

I never wanted to be defined by my work, but its such an integral part of me that I’m glad I’m finally settling into something that I hope every day will be long term. I am 100% committed to my new company and its actually a pleasure to drive 1.5hours there every day and do a good job.

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The house is still being worked on. We thought we’d be in by now, but there was so much to do to begin with, that it was almost inevitable it was going to take longer. I’m not excited about it yet, probably because I spend so much time at the office, or in a car, that ‘a house’ has just become another place to rest my head, rather than ‘home’. Home for me is the people you spend time with.

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Crochet has started to become ‘work’ for me additional to the full time gig. With magazine commissions taking up a lot of my time, I find knitting to be an escape now. I’m still not perfect, but theres definite improvement and I find it more fun. I take it to the office with me and it brings me peace. Right now, crochet brings me stress.

I just keep thinking, if I can make it through the next 2 months, I’ll have submitted everything I need to and then I can relax. I’ve bought so much yarn and I am itching to make as many things as I can.

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I want to be selfish. Thats how I want to explain my feelings about life right now. I want to not care, and do ME. I want to buy the yarn, drink the gin and not care about what comes out of my mouth and hang out with people who let me get away with actual verbal murder.

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Until then though, I have:

• Snowflake Poncho being released on Bella Coco Crochet website on 12th November
• Snowflake Cowl being released in Craft Club Magazine in December
• Snowflake Fingerless Gloves being released in Craft Club Magazine in December
• Astronomishawl being released early for purchasers of the Mad Scientist Yarns Advent Calendar on December 1st and for everyone else on January 1st
• Chunky Circle Scarf in Crochet Now! Magazine in December
• Unnamed cushion pattern in February
• Unnamed blanket pattern in March

So apologies for my silence, life is a LOT right now, and I’m trying to figure out who I am all over again.